


Bird and the Loan

by Somethin_Strange



Category: Bird - Fandom, please dont read this - Fandom, shitpost - Fandom
Genre: Crushes, First Meetings, Fluff, Meet-Cute, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-19
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:27:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27102679
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Somethin_Strange/pseuds/Somethin_Strange
Summary: (This is a shitpost fic PLEASE don't read this)Bird just wanted a car loan, but someone they meet there will change their whole life.This is a fanfic about one of my friends over Discord and their one true love, the Car Loan Guy. please im begging you dont read this.
Relationships: Bird/Car Loan Guy
Comments: 4
Kudos: 4





	1. meet-cute

Bird walked down the bank’s hallway, their boots clicking on the tile. It was quite cold in the bank, the frigid air swirling around the cuff of Bird’s suit. They were nervous, nervous, nervous; Their shoulders were curved inwards around the mass of papers they were carrying.

Today they were to apply for a car loan.

This wasn’t actually important in their eyes, no. But still. Going up and speaking in front of people to ASK them for something? Bird’s worst nightmare.

Their head was spinning, pondering all the ways this could go wrong. They could slip up, or stutter with their words, or have brought the wrong presentation…

Bird turned the corner sharply, not entirely watching where they were going-

And with a brief burst of pain, suddenly they were on the floor. Their papers were flying everywhere, it would take a little while to pick them all up.

Bird grasped at their nose, and snapped at the person who bumped into them. 

“Ow! Hey, what gives?”

“Sorry, that was my bad.”

Bird looked up.

And the two locked eyes.

The man, who Bird decided to call Car Loan Guy, had striking pink eyes behind square glasses; Tousled brown hair in a bun and white-pink earrings.

_ Hot damn that was an attractive man. _

“I- I, uh-” Bird stammered, their brain short circuiting. “You, uh-”

Car Loan Guy smiled a warm grin, apologetic and kind.

“Sorry I messed up your papers. Can I help you pick them up?”

Bird blinked emptily at him for a moment, mouth open, before nodding enthusiastically.

Bird just sat and watched as Car Loan Guy picked their papers, putting them in a neat pile at Bird’s feet. But Bird was just too busy staring at how just purely HOT this guy was.

His jacket accentuated his square shoulders, muscles rippled in his arms-

Bird shook their head, trying to snap out of it. They couldn’t let him to all the work after all! These were their papers.

They reached down to pick up the paper closest to them-

Only to find Car Loan Guy’s hand already there.

Their hands met for a moment on that paper. His hand was warm, almost inviting Bird to hold it-

Bird’s cheeks went BRIGHT red as they snatched the paper and put it on the top of the stack. 

Car Loan Guy just laughed.

“Again, sorry about all of this. Hope I didn’t make you late or anything!”

“N-no, uh, you just- You didn’t. I’m not late, I don’t think. Yeah.”

“That’s good to hear!”

Car Loan Guy took out a small piece of paper, writing something down on it and handing it to Bird.

“What is-”

“Here’s my number. You’re Bird, right? Give me a call sometime!”

Bird sat there in shocked silence, slipping the piece of paper into their pocket.

“Uh. I will! I’ll do that!”

Car Loan Guy gave a playful salute before going off on his way, brushing back his hair with his hand.

And Bird was left sitting there, a phone number in their pocket and the fleeting memory of a man;

As that angel, the Car Loan Guy, turned the corner and disappeared.


	2. a date, or maybe not

Bird had no clue how they managed to get the car inside the aquarium, but they were having the time of their life all the same.

It was long after closing time when Car Loan Guy and Bird pulled up to the aquarium. They had snuck in through an open window, careful not to set off alarms. Car Loan Guy had said that he had a surprise for Bird, and that surprise was apparently a car. Inside the aquarium.

Because why not?

And so now here they were, driving along inside the aquarium.

Bird didn’t quite know if this counted as a date or an outing and it was driving them mad. They shifted nervously in their car seat, their face already heated. 

And suddenly the car came to a stop.

“So?” the Car Long Guy asked with a warm smile, “What do you think?”

And Bird looked around.

They had stopped in the middle of the glass tunnel, parked near the wall so the soft lights inside the tank could illuminate the car.

It was perfect lighting.

Fish swam on the other side of the glass, idly passing by and putting on little shows just for them.

Bird sat in shocked silence as it hit them.

This place was beyond beautiful.

Bird put their fingertips on the glass, following a manta ray as it swam by on the other side. They turned back to Car Loan Guy, their eyes sparkling with wonder; Car Loan Guy just laughed.

“I’m glad you like it! Only the best for my friends.”

Bird sat there, in shocked silence, mouth hanging open. The car buzzed with energy, as warm and inviting as Car Loan Guy himself. 

And suddenly, it hit them.

They watched Car Loan Guy talk about some fish that had swam by, watched his eyes light up as he followed the fish swim.

Bird wanted to kiss him.

These feelings were so, so strange in their chest, it was a passionate nervous energy that made understand the word ‘lovesick’ just a little bit better. Their heart was beating twice as fast as they stared at Car Loan Guy’s handsome face.

It would be so easy to just lean over and kiss him right now.

But he had called Bird a friend. Not a crush or an enbyfriend or anything, just a friend.

So Bird pushed down their feelings as deep as it would go, biting back unsaid words.

Car Loan Guy leaned toward them, smiling.

God it would be easy to kiss him right now.

But Bird saw the opportunity to kiss him…

And instead, leaned on his shoulder and watched the fish swim above.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> help i am in physical pain


	3. idk anymore bro

Bird and Car Loan Guy sat together, watching a movie.

It was a horror movie, an old one at that. The two were sharing a blanket and some popcorn, watching the final girl run from some masked killer.

The lights were soft and low, letting the screen stand out and shine on the two…‘friends’.

“Run! Run Jamie!” Car Loan Guy yelled to the screen, grinning.

“Run!” Bird agreed.

They sat in comfortable silence, just sorta vibing.

Bird snuggled closer to their crush, using the movie as an excuse. It was exhilarating to be so close to him, their heart was beating twice as fast.

And everything was calm.

That is, until Car Loan Guy snatched the popcorn bowl.

“Heyyy, give that back!” Bird laughed, making grabby hands.

“Never!”

“Then I’ll TAKE it back!”

Car Loan Guy scrambled away, holding the popcorn bowl and smiling.

Bird playfully gave chase, chasing their crush across the room. 

Bird ended up backing them into a corner, launching themself at him. Car Loan Guy put the popcorn bowl to the side as they play-fought.

They were laughing the whole time as Car Loan Guy gained the advantage with his height, eventually ending up being the one backing Bird into a corner.

Bird made a mad dash, trying to get the upper hand, but Car Loan Guy barked out a laugh and pinned one of their arms to a wall.

And just then, the playful atmosphere faded.

Bird’s heart was beating faster, their face heating up as they just...stared. Their faces were so close to each other. Bird was too scared to just straight-up kiss him, but god they wanted to. There was slight shock in Car Loan Guy’s eyes as well as...something else. 

Bird gave a small smile.

And suddenly, Car Loan Guy was leaning forward-

And they kissed.

It was warm and light, but Bird froze up for a moment out of pure shock. But then they melted into the kiss, their hand resting on the back of Car Loan Guy’s neck. 

He smelled like cinnamon.

It was almost dizzying, making Bird’s head spin as they slowly ran out of breath. Car Loan Guy went to pull away, but Bird stepped on their tiptoes to chase the kiss. 

Both of them breathed softly as they stared into each other’s eyes. Bird’s head was brimming with questions.

_ Does this mean he likes me too? What does this make us? _

But Bird was leaning in again for another kiss, the questions disappeared from their mind.

And as the movie rolled credits, all but forgotten, Bird wished that moment could last forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what the hell am i doing

**Author's Note:**

> why are you still here


End file.
